a dramatic retelling of your entrepreneurial experience..through mayo

So, before I get started, a little background. I decided to make my mayo. It's a deciptively simple recipe that is actually difficult (at least for me) to execute. Eggs. Olive oil. Lemon Juice. But SO MUCH can go wrong. Here is the story of my epic battle with creating homemade mayo for the very first time...see if any of this looks familiar, yo

 

 

The typical business journey as told through my EPIC battle with homemade mayo. Enjoy.

 

1. You feel excited! OH THE POSSIBILITIES!

 

OMGISH. I am going to make MAYO. MY OWN MAYO. Oh the possibilities. I can put it on THINGS. This will be fantastic. I will go BUY the things for the mayo.

 

2. You feel a little overwhelmed.

 

Yikes. There are a lot of mayo recipes out there. WHICH ONE? WHICH ONE DO I PICK? Someone tell me which mayo I should pick!

 

3. You commit to something.

 

Ok, I have found the recipe. I am MAKING THE mayo. This is going to be the most incredible awesomeness in the world. Eeek. So ready! So ready to make the wonderful mayo.

 

4. You finally start!

 

OH yes! MAYO making. Look at me. I am Julia f-ing Child! I am gonna make the SHIZ out of this mayo.

 

5. Things start to go wrong and it’s not as glamorous as you thought.

 

Um….so the mayo is not mayo-ing? It’s not really doing what I want? Why does it still look so runny? Has SCIENCE betrayed me?!?

 

6. You feel like you are wasting money.

Wasted a whole bottle of olive oil and that stuff aint cheap! And the egg! The lemon juice. What a waste!

 

7. You try to save it. But no.

 

Maybe if I put in another egg? YES! Another egg! This is gonna work, yo.  I can’t abandon this batch, I must save it.

8. You lose hope

 

Holy mother of mayhem can I actually MAKE mayo? Maybe I am not MEANT to make mayo?! Perhaps the mayo life is just not for me! I am good at so many other different things. I have a great dog, a great family...mayo just isn’t in the cards right now.

9. You wallow. You feel afraid. Maybe a little angry?

 

WHAT WENT WRONG? BAHHHHH. I USED THAT RECIPE IT SHOULD HAVE WORKED.

 

10. You finally calm down. You make a big decision. It’s time to try again.

 

I WANT to make mayo. This is my life, damn it. I should be able to have mayo gosh darn IT.

 

11. The “get shiz done” phase

 

Let’s DO THIS. IT’S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. MAYO MAKING PART 2.

 

12. You collect more info and trying to figure out went wrong.

 

Yikes. Lemon juice is better than getting it straight from the lemons? Room temperature eggs? Yesh!

 

13. People warn you about it. You get lots of conflicting advice.

 

Girl, FORGET ABOUT THAT MAYO.

It takes a lot o’ patience.

Everybody is doing mayo right now. Don't waste your time.

Pray to the sun god before you do it.

Buy that shiz.

 

Yuk. Mayo.

14. You fail more.

 

FOR THE LOVE OF -- WHAT IS WRONG?

 

15. You have a moment of clarity. You get it.

 

Ok, ok, ok. I can do this. Just calm down. I KNOW what to do.

 

16. You are in the zone.

 

AH. The mayo is becoming mayo-y! It’s happening!

 

17. Don’t get too excited! Stay focused.

 

eek. The mayo!!!

18. Mission mothertruckin’ accomplished.

 

MAYO MOFOS! MAYO! I AM THE BOSS.

 

19. ON to the next....

OH A RECIPE FOR BUTTER!

To be continued!

And in case you are wondering -- THE MAYO